Zeliha paints
Zeliha, a sweet 48-year-old woman from Haarlem who is currently very positive in life, talks candidly about the difficult path she took after her psychosis. She would like to advise everyone to do volunteer work because that has been what has brought her a lot and helped her in the time she really needed it. She is the example of rethinking and solves her own loneliness by being there for other people. This is her story:
When I got confused after the birth of my son, I went through a very difficult time. I was mostly alone at home and had a small network. Housekeeping and taking care of my three children was a full-time job at that time and took a lot of energy. I just sat at home, felt lonely and had to pick up the thread again. At some point I switched the button and started looking for volunteer work.
I found this at a peer group for foreign women where I was allowed to help organize weekly activities. We could also occasionally rent a gym and be active. Even though I only did this for 2 hours a week, I got to know new people and felt seen and heard. I got to work out every idea I had and I know that projects I set up back then are still being used. That is so satisfying. You really develop yourself while volunteering and I found out that I could do a lot more than I thought. I am very proud when I look back on this and see what I have done and learned.
I've come a long way and it all started with volunteering
This volunteering has opened many doors for me. My volunteer work gave me the opportunity to start with a training. This was the Sports and Game Guidance Assistant training and I completed it completely. After this I got a taste for it and I wanted to find a further education so that I could gain even more experience. This became the Experience Expert training for which I traveled all the way to Amsterdam. I have also completed this course. Because of these training courses, I had the confidence and the knowledge from my volunteer work to make the step to other courses and because of this I obtained two HBO propaedeutics and my driver's license. As I say this I think, 'Wow, I've done all that. I've come a long way and it all started with volunteering'.
Lately the weather has been a little less good for me and my week has been filled with therapy and the children. Now the time has finally come for me to get back to work as a volunteer. I want so badly but to be honest I also find it exciting to start again. But because it has brought me so much good in the past, I am once again convinced that this will help me in my recovery. Since this week I have been actively searching again via NLvoorelkaar. I responded to a vacancy to become a hiking guide and some coordinating activities. I see volunteering as a solution to being alone.
A tip I can give to people who, like me, sometimes feel alone is: 'Go do something that you are passionate about, a course or volunteer work that you really enjoy. It may be hard to get started with, but once you're there, trust me, you won't want to leave. For example, I really enjoy painting and drawing and I go to an art class once a week where I get to meet people again. I will also be doing volunteer work here during the summer holidays and I am really looking forward to that. And what I also really like is that you have immediate results. Every now and then I am so proud of what I have made and that helps a lot with my self-confidence back. I send my painting or drawing through a message to people I know and immediately have some appeal and conversation. But of course you can do this in all kinds of ways and see what makes you happy. For example, place a call and ask if someone would like to go cycling with you or set up a walking club. The most important thing is that this way you take some time for yourself and do something you really enjoy. Volunteer from your heart and see what gives you energy. Then a lot of good things can come out.'
Finally, I would like to say to everyone: 'Go over that threshold, dare to ask for help and step out of your comfort zone. You are not alone because there are a lot of people who are in the same boat. You can also volunteer as I did. It can bring you so much, even if it's just, like with me, 2 hours a week. These can really make a difference. I'm sure you'll have a great time once you take the plunge. Good luck!'
Aunt Joke tells..
Aunt Joke tells.. Joke, a funny and optimistic 71-year-old widow from Breda, was always there for everyone, despite the fact that she became ill at the age of 32 and had to stop working. She used to be busy day in and day out volunteering or babysitting lots of kids in the neighborhood. Now that she can no longer do this and needs help herself, she has to admit that she feels very lonely. This is her story: When I was 32, after having two hernias, I severely damaged my spinal cord. I was not allowed to work anymore. But sit at home all day as a 32-year-old, of course you don't! I went back to school for a while and my parents were bewildered. I wasn't much of a student before. You were looked at crazy in my time if you went to the Mulo or HTS, that was just not the case in my area. Today it is a Juppiebuurt, but that used to be different. Sometimes I would walk to school like a kind of mother goose with 16 children around me. After this, I slowly rolled into my role as 'Aunt Joke'. I have looked after children my entire adult life. Those were children who came to me from birth until they went to high school. Sometimes as many as 8 children came at once! And they also brought friends with them… Then I sometimes walked to school like a kind of mother goose with 16 children around me. Can you see that already? I had a couple of cribs upstairs for the babies and my garden was one big play paradise. We had a pool that was divided into a pool a few inches deep that I could sit in, and a section for the older kids with a slide. We also had a swing and a sandbox. The more children I had inside, the less bothered by my complaints. I babysat for free, just because I liked it. They were all children of family and friends. The mothers went to work and then they were allowed to come and do crafts or draw with me. I could keep them busy for days at a time. But at a certain point it was no longer allowed due to all kinds of security measures… I really miss it a lot. That was 15 years ago... how fast things go, huh? Since then I have done a lot of volunteer work. For the Zonnebloem, for example, I went to people who were lonely. I hoisted a lady who had ALS into my car every Wednesday afternoon and then we packed her wheelchair and went shopping together. Just try on some clothes and see how it looked. There was also another lady I went to. Then I thought: 'What a shame if you are left behind like this.. your husband dead, no friends or acquaintances and very lonely. I hope that never happens to me.' Funny how something like this can happen. I was always a rather fanatical volunteer: during Sinterklaas I arranged for Sinterklaas and Zwarte Piet to come by and I brought a butter letter. At Christmas I came with a Christmas stollen and something for under the tree. So I've been there for different people. I also did volunteer work at the church, to make and distribute coffee on Sundays, for example. Nowadays I can't physically do much anymore. I still drive around in my tiny car (an automatic), a roof with four wheels that moves. So I can still do my own shopping :). But I can only walk minimal distances and nowadays often visit the hospital. It's always something for me. If I don't have one, it's something else. It's like multiple choice! Haha always prize! Furthermore, my husband passed away and I rarely or never see my son, I estimate about 4 times a year. I haven't seen my grandson in a while. I also have a nice neighbor, but unfortunately she is moving. Oh, before I forget: I live with my two sweet cats: Mayflower and Sunshine and I love to read. All in all I have to admit that I am very lonely. I would really love to find a terrace with someone and just people watch. At the forest, for example, enjoy the fresh air. I know a few places where I can drive us with my car. I can also help other people socially. So if you're looking for some company, I'd love to meet you! Or maybe we can watch TV together in the winter, a nice detective film, or play a game of football especially for the gentlemen ;). -- Joke has now been to the terrace in the summer and she has already walked a few times through the woods with her new buddy Anne. Share these stories and inspire others to help too! Facebook Twitter LinkedIn Whatsapp Forward
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